Retention Incentives

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    At the regular Sunday morning service, Rev Roberto announced that he was planning to leave for a larger church that would pay him more.

    There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is so popular.

    Colin, who owns several car dealerships stands up and proclaims, "If Rev Roberto stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda CRV, to transport their children!"

    The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

    Daniel, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If Rev Roberto will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free university education for his children!"

    More sighs and loud applause....

    Mary age 28, stands and announces with a smile, "If Rev Roberto stays, I will provide sex!"

    There is total silence....

    Rev Roberto blushing and asks her, "Mary, you're a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?"

    Mary's 35-year old husband Mike, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replied, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help" and he said 'Fuck him!'"
  • Sperm Donation A man walks into a sperm bank and declares, "I`m of royal blood and an I.Q. of 165, I`d like to make a donation".
    The nurse gives him a sealed cup and directs him to a private room. 20 minutes later the man...
  • Old Stud! A flashy showgirl married a 97 year-old retired well-to-do General, largely because she held the belief that the old codger wouldn`t even survive the wedding night. While her new husband was in the bathroom...
  • Poor Finish! A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to purchase furs. The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Sanna, and before long the two were alone in his hotel room...
  • Strip Club!!! Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other. A woman comes on stage and starts stripping. The guy in back, Paul, says, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"
    Then the first guy turns around and says...
  • Safe Sex Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were spending the night in a hotel room. Donald wanted to have sex with Minnie. The first thing Minnie asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
    Donald frowned and said, "No....
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