| A young girl who was a heavy smoker invested in a cigarette lighter to economize in matches. After a short time it began to give trouble. So she spoke to a gentleman who had one, having just seen him light a cigarette with it and put it in his pocket. She: Now be a dear and tell me about that thing you have there in your trousers. He: (Misunderstanding her and feeling a bit embarrassed) I'm not used to discussing such things with ladies. She: Now there is no need to be shy. Tell me, how does yours work? Do you jerk it up and down? He: Oh, sometimes... She: Then it's different from mine, mine just opens and shuts. Do you rub yours up and down until something comes? He: Oh yes, especially in cold weather. She: Have you ever tried pulling your wick and dipping it? He: No, most certainly not! She: Oh... You should, it does it good. You never soaked it before then? He: Of course I haven't. She: You should try it then sometime, it takes the stiffness out of it. He: Er, well... I'm afraid that you are a naughty girl. She: (Thinking he referred to smoking) Oh, every girl does it nowadays anyway. What about your wick, is it a long one? He: Yes, it is rather on the long side. She: I think I will have to try a bigger one because the one I use does not seem to go far enough to do any good. Does yours go red on the end when it's dry? He: Yes. She: So does mine. In the past mine has been giving me much trouble. Would you like to have a look at it? He: No no, not now. We had better wait until it's dark. She: Don't be ridiculous, you can see much better in the daylight. It has been leaking these past few days so I have put a rag around it. I'll unwind it now (opening her handbag and producing her lighter). Look, here it is (dashing her lighter). It has run out again, damn... now I'll have to go back to matches. The young man collapses. |