Difference between Like and Need

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    A man was shopping in the men's department at John Lewis when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter.

    He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."

    She smiled pleasantly and asked, "And what would you like?" The man said, "I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth and then suck on your beautiful breasts and bite your nipples lightly..... That's what I'd like.... but What I Need is a new TIE !"
  • What Women Say During Sex Greg was explaining the facts of life to his teenage nephew. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of lovemaking. "One thing to keep in mind is that different women say different things...
  • Somebody's Gonna Get It Tonight Marilyn had a parrot for a pet, but the parrot would embarrass her whenever she came into the apartment with a man. He would shout all kinds of obscenities, always leading off with "Somebody`s gonna get it tonight...
  • Financial Benefits Big Breasts The teacher decided that in science class, she would teach her students about different materials. Standing at the front of the class, she asked, "Children, if you were able to have one raw material in the world, what would it be...
  • Dog Mating A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat`, agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, that night...
  • Change of Mind All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride`s father storm up the aisle...
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