•  

    Tim and Nancy lived in Anchorage, Alaska. Right downtown. Their house was literally right downtown. But they had no indoor plumbing. They did, however, have an outhouse. The older Tim got, though, the further away it seemed to get.

    One night, he decided to just skip the trip. Instead, he decided to just relieve himself right there off the front porch.

    Nancy was pretty pissed about his decision. "Tim, you moron. Our neighbours can see you when you do that, you know."

    "It's dark out," said Tim, "they can't see me."

    "Of course they can," explained Nancy, "you're silhouetted against the porch light and they can tell what you're doing."

    He'd not given it THAT much thought, so he promised his wife he'd not do it again.

    Not too many nights later, though, it turned bitterly cold. Right in the middle of the night he had to piss like a race horse. He got up, put on his slippers, and headed out of the bedroom to do his business.

    He was back in two shakes (so to speak). His wife, suspicious as wives are apt to be, said, "You weren't gone very long."

    "That's right."

    "You went off the porch again, didn't you?"

    "Yes, I did."

    "We had a talk about this, remember? The neighbours can see you. They'll know it was you and what you were doing out there. Aren't you the least bit embarrassed?"

    "Naw, they won't know it's me! This time I was squatting down!"
  • Ordnance Factory Blast A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator...
  • Interrupted! A young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. "Heavens," she cried, "it`s my husband...
  • Nokia 3310 Vs iPhone As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look. "Why don`t you get a better phone...
  • Grandma vs Grandpa There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son`s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some...
  • Don't Jump to Conclusions At a wedding , the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT