| I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: * I do physical labor * I work at great depths * I work headfirst * I do not get weekends off or public holidays * I work in a damp environment * I don`t get paid overtime or shift penalties * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation * I work in high temperatures * My work exposes me to contagious diseases Response from the administration: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: * You do not work 8 hours straight * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods * You do not always follow the orders of the management team * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas * You take a lot of non-rostered breaks * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift * You don`t always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits * You don`t wait till pension age before retiring * You don`t like working double shifts * You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day`s work * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. |