Healthy Lifestyle

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    They had been married for sixty years. They were far from rich, but in very good health, due largely to her insistence that they both eat healthy foods and exercise every day. But their good health didn't help them when their plane crashed.

    At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter led them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen, and a waterfall in the master bath. They gasped in astonishment.

    "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home for eternity."

    The man asked, "How much will this cost?"

    "Why, nothing," St. Peter replied. "This is your heavenly reward. And see that championship golf course out your back window? It's included, too; you can play as much as you want, for free." He also showed them the clubhouse, the pool, the lavish meals of every cuisine imaginable. "This is Heaven. Everything is free for you to enjoy."

    The old man glanced nervously at his wife and then asked, "But where are the low fat, low cholesterol foods, the decaffeinated tea, the..."

    St. Peter interrupted. "That's the best part," he said. "You can eat and drink as much as you like, of anything you like, and you'll never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

    "No gym to work out at?"

    "Only if you want to."

    "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

    "Never again. Here you just enjoy yourself."

    The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your damned bran muffins! We could have been here twenty years ago!
  • Kids and Marriage HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
    You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming...
  • Almost Perfect First Day It seems that a young man volunteered for Navy service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola, skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola, he soloed and...
  • Anniversary Gift Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE...
  • George And The Dragon A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: `GEORGE AND THE DRAGON`. He knocked. The Innkeeper`s wife stuck her head out a window...
  • Hard and Difficult Words Thank you, but I won`t make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real Fool!
    Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning...
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