You're The Shit

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    The small town sheriff pulled over a Porsche doing 75 miles per hour in a 35 zone. Its wealthy yuppie driver was steaming.

    When he finally appeared before the local magistrate, he exploded, "I can't believe you're going to give me a fine. This place must be the a$$hole of the world!"

    The magistrate softly replied, "Mebbe so, but you're what's passing through it!"
  • An Intelligent Blonde A blonde stopped at a gas station, got out of the car, opened the hood, and checked the engine oil. After a few seconds of what appeared to be intelligent thinking she took the dipstick in her hand...
  • Heaven Can Wait They had been married for sixty years. They were far from rich, but in very good health, due largely to her insistence that they both eat healthy foods and exercise every day. But their good health...
  • Corruption Case At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn`t it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case...
  • Stuttering While waiting at the bus stop, a man with a stutter asked another, "E-e-excuse m-me, w-w-what t-time is it?"
    The other man didn`t reply. Again, the man asked...
  • First Rectal Exam I went into my proctologist`s office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room And told me to get undressed and have a seat Until the doctor could see me. She said that...
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