The Last Night of Peace

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    Chap goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. Barman serves him. Man drinks it orders another. This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down.

    Barman asks, "Is there anything the matter, sir?"

    Chap replies, "I had an enormous argument with the wife. She said she won't speak to me for a month. I have to sleep on the sofa."

    Barman says, "Best bet is to stop drinking, go home, and don't let this argument carry on passed the first night. Nip it in the bud."

    Chap says, "You don't understand. This is the last night."
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