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    "Y'all got any american razor blades in here?" The Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinson."

    "Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors since before Waterloo."

    "I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's ark if they ain't any good," the Texan retorted.

    "I can assure you they are very good sir," the peeved druggist said.

    "Why just last year, my wife swallowed one. It gave her a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, circumcised the gardener, emasculated a neighbor, cut two of a delivery boy's fingers off at the knuckle... and I still got 10 shaves out of it."
  • Getting Even? Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If`n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with...
  • Not A Big Deal A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She`s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite...
  • No Sucking Please A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky one. So they went up to the room. A minute later...
  • Rooster Substitution This truck driver is cruising down this dusty ass country road, when out runs this rooster and he runs it over, killing it. He stops, and walks up to the farm, and knocks on the door...
  • Love Multiplication Mrs. Johnson the elementary school math teacher was having children do problems on the blackboard that day.
    "Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"
    No one raised their hand...
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