•  

    A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and after gagging his wife, tied her to the bed. The helpless husband watched as he got on to the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her neck. His wife began to start shaking her head violently from side to side. Suddenly, the man got up and left the room. The husband squirmed the chair across the room to his young wife and hissed,
    "Darling, I saw him kissing you. He probably hasn`t seen a woman in years. Please cooperate. If he wants to have sex, just go along with it and even pretend you like it. Whatever you do don`t fight him or make him mad. Our lives may depend on it!"
    "Darling," the wife said, spitting out her gag. "I`m so relieved you feel that way. He wasn`t kissing me, he was whispering to me. He told me he thinks you`re really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom."
  • Long stem... One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage. She asked, 'Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you, Johnny?Johnny:'M`am..
  • Your horoscope (An oldie, but goodie) You lie a great deal. You make the same stupid mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come in contact with.You should kill yourself. Chance for employment and monetary gains are nil. Most Libra women are...
  • Some Grammatical mistakes A man wants to celebrate his wife`s Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says let`s put, 'you are not getting older you are getting better'. The salesman asks 'Hhow do...
  • Where Operated? In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, 'If each of you will give me $1, I will show you my legs.' The men pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress...
  • Cherry ? A father and his three beautiful blonde daughters went into a hotel to stay for the night. When the daughters went to check in, they saw a really good looking bell boy. The father caught the three girls looking at him and he threatened to kill the bell boy if he...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT