Motherless Mayhem

  •  

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

    The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

    He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

    He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

    She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"

    "Yes," was his incredulous reply.
    She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
  • Indie Puns What`s the need to arrest Vijay Mallya? He has anyway spent most of his life behind bars.

    What do you call people who don`t believe in going to the gym?
  • Golf Buddies There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day...
  • Late For Work Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn`t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10. sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded...
  • Job Selection A prestigious law firm interviewing prospective attorneys had narrowed the field down to Bob and Paul. Both had graduated at the top of their respective law school classes. Both were from good families...
  • Long Distance Relationship A soldier was stationed abroad and received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read: "Dear Dave, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT