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    A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.

    He said, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."

    She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."

    She replied, "You mean it shows that, too?"
  • Reincarnation Jane was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts. She never had a boyfriend so she went to a Psychic for help. "Honey," said the Psychic. "You will not have luck in love in this life. But, at the reincarnation, you will be...
  • What's a penguin? A guy is walking down the street, and he`s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has...
  • Girlfriend Threesome Doug meets Bill at the bar for their usual after work drink. Bill is sitting there looking somewhat depressed. Doug asks, "What`s wrong pal?"
    Bill replies, "Well, I finally succeeded...
  • Nothing to Wear Sven & Ole had been business partners and best friends for years. One morning, halfway to work, Sven realized he`d forgotten his lunch, so he went back home to get it. When he got there, he found that his wife...
  • Avoid Stress An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, was shocked when the woman`s doctor said she had a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She had to avoid stress, eat right...
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