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    Liz is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time?"

    The doctor replies, "Well, woman have been having babies for a million years without an attendance by doctors. It's a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant."

    She interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"
  • Hard Nipples A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath. He said...
  • What's in a Name? Ishmael Nussbaum founded a tailor supply shop in New York and worked hard to grow it into a national company. As his two sons, Peter and Andrew, grew older and graduated from college; he brought them into...
  • Reincarnation Jane was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts. She never had a boyfriend so she went to a Psychic for help. "Honey," said the Psychic. "You will not have luck in love in this life. But, at the reincarnation, you will be...
  • What's a penguin? A guy is walking down the street, and he`s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has...
  • Girlfriend Threesome Doug meets Bill at the bar for their usual after work drink. Bill is sitting there looking somewhat depressed. Doug asks, "What`s wrong pal?"
    Bill replies, "Well, I finally succeeded...
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