| There was this woman sitting on a park bench muttering to herself and spitting. She would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, she would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive," then spit, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive," then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive," then spit. A man sits down next to her and asks her, "What's going on here? You keep saying, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive, then you spit." "Well," says the gal, "my boyfriend just got a brand new sports car, so he calls me and asks me if I want to go for a ride. So I say sure, why not? "He picks me up and we drive up to the mountains. After wehave lunch, we start back down the mountain and his brakes go out!! He's pumping the pedal, and nothing!! So now we're picking up speed and the road is all twisty and curvey. "We're going faster and faster and it's hard to stay on the road. I've got my fingers embedded in the dashboard, and I'm pleading with him to do something!!! "We're going about 90 mph now, with a sheer cliff on our right, a 500 foot drop on the other side, an 18 wheeler right on our ass, and an overturned motorhome right in front of us. Well, I figure this is it! I just knew we were gonna die! So I turn to him and said... 'Geoff, if you can get us outta this, I'll give you the best damn blow job you've ever had'!!!" She paused. Then spit. "DAMN, THAT SON OF A BITCH CAN **DRIVE**!!" |