| Just as we have Rajinikanth jokes, in Russia they have Putin jokes..... When Putin was late for school, the teacher punished the whole class for being early. When Putin's phone rings in the theater, they pause the movie. Doctor: "You have Cancer". Putin: "Tell it, it has two weeks to live." When Putin looks in the mirror, there's no reflection because there is only 1 Putin. When Putin was born, he named his parents. Russia didn't choose him, he chose Russia. Putin Arriving at Foreign Country's Airport: Customs Officer: "Occupation?" Putin: "No, just visiting." Putin calls 911 to ask what is their emergency. Putin built the hospital in which he was born. This guy never flushes the toilet, he just scares the shit out of it. When Putin was born, he slapped the doctor for not crying. When Putin didn't go to school, the school declared it a Holiday. Stop calling him Russian James Bond. James Bond is British Vladimir Putin. When Putin creates an account, the terms and conditions agree with him. When Putin coughs, Covid wears a mask. |