| How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side. I have a few jokes about unemployed people.... but none of them work. How do you make holy water? You take some water & boil the hell out of it. Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan." Heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu, you get what you deserve. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday... but couldn't find any. What do you call a bee that can't quite make up its mind? A maybe. I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case. If and when everything is coming your way..... you're in the wrong lane. She had a photographic memory... but never developed it. Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant..... but then I changed my mind. Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland, of course, it's Dublin everyday. My ex-wife still misses me.... but her aim is starting to improve. The guy who invented the door knocker got a..... No-bell prize. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought.... "that's the last thing I need !" Need an ark??? I Noah guy. I used to be indecisive..... Now I'm not so sure. Sleeping comes so naturally to me that...... I can do it with my eyes closed. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing. But, it let out a little whine. What do you call a very articulate dinosaur with a good vocabulary? A Thesaurus. Last, but not least, What happens when you boil a funny bone? You get a laughing stock. |