Time saving...

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    We noticed that all the waiters in this New York restaurant carried two spoons in their vest pocket. Naturally, we were curious. We asked a waiter why.
    "As a result of an efficiency study by the management, it was determined that the most frequently dropped silverware item was a spoon. Therefore, all the waiters carry two spoons so that the item can be instantly replaced."
    As he was explaining that we noticed a string hanging out of the fly of his pants. So, we asked about that.
    "Sir, that`s another efficiency study result. When we have to go to the bathroom, we use the string to pull ourselves out and aim. Therefore, we do not have to stop to wash our hands."
    We replied, "I understand how you can get yourself out and aim, but how do you get yourself back in?"
    "Well," replied the waiter, "I don`t know about the other guys, but I use the two spoons!"
  • Cockpit! A burly good `ol boy Texan on a flight flags down a steward and says, 'Captain, I want a drink but I don`t see the stewardess around'.
    The steward answers, 'Actually I`m not the captain. This airline is proud to have integrated many of the traditional male-female roles...
  • Squaring off! Santa goes into a very exclusive hotel for a night with a call girl and asks for a room. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning Santa and the girl came to settle the bill and were surprised...
  • Banta in a hotel! Banta pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, Banta looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby.
    He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the...
  • The talking parrot! A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom`s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making.
  • The exterminator! A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
    'Quick,' said the woman to her lover, 'into the...
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