TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS GROWN TOO OLD FOR

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    10. He can open your blouse by himself.
    9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.
    8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.
    7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.
    6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
    5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.
    4. After each feeding, he has a smoke.
    3. He frequently invites his friends over for dinner.
    2. You feel an uncontrollable urge to listen to "Dueling Banjos."
    1. Beard abrasions on areola.
  • Perspective on life according to George Costanza (SEINFELD). The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean,life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What`s that, a bonus?
    I think the life cycle is all backwards.
    You should die first, get it out...
  • Time saving... We noticed that all the waiters in this New York restaurant carried two spoons in their vest pocket. Naturally, we were curious. We asked a waiter why.
    'As a result of an efficiency study by the management, it was determined that the most frequently dropped...
  • Family`s economoics! Banta`s son is having trouble understanding Economics, so he asks his dad.
    'It`s very simple,' explains his dad. 'Let me make it simpler through comparisons. Since I`m the one who earns for the house, I can be referred to as the Management. Since your mother...
  • Cockpit! A burly good `ol boy Texan on a flight flags down a steward and says, 'Captain, I want a drink but I don`t see the stewardess around'.
    The steward answers, 'Actually I`m not the captain. This airline is proud to have integrated many of the traditional male-female roles...
  • Squaring off! Santa goes into a very exclusive hotel for a night with a call girl and asks for a room. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning Santa and the girl came to settle the bill and were surprised...
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