There once was a woman...

  •  

    A young woman from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, she slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
    The angry woman demanded "What took you so long?"
    He replied, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."
  • Aunt Bea... Miss Bea was in her 80`s and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring and she welcomed him into her...
  • Conspicous... A Minister, a Priest and a Rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes...
  • Innovative Marital Strategies.. A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun.
    'Open the goddamn safe,' he yells at the girl behind the counter.
    'But we`re not a real bank,' she replies. 'We don`t...
  • Perquisites of a Secretary! A Managing Director was interviewing a charming lady for the post of a Personal Secretary. Finally, he asked the lady what salary she expected?
    Very modestly she replied...
  • This one`s for the dogs... 3 dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vet`s office. One is a Poodle, one is a Schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane. The Poodle turns to the Schnauzer and asks, 'Why are you here?'
    The Schnauzer responds, 'I`m 17 years old. I don`t see or hear...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT