This two timing thing !

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    A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother`s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
    The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father has ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.
    The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband`s blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing.
    At this they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL of the pain to him.
    The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
    When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
  • Wife`s contractions ! Santa spoke frantically into the phone, 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!'
    'Is this her first...
  • Mission accomplished! The wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same, sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, 'Honey, do you remember this?'
    He looks up at her and replies, 'Yes dear, I do, you wore that same...
  • Birthday bash ! A 100-year-old man was having a big birthday party at the nursing home. A TV crew was there to interview the man on this special day.
    'Please tell our audience how you managed to live so...
  • Change the oil ! It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying 'This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?'
    He answered ' You`ve got to keep...
  • Some have toys! Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: 'Did you notice the small..
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