It begins.... Never assume!

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    An American tourist couple, both sociologists, were walking the streets of a small town in Saudi Arabia. It was nearing the middle of the day and they didn`t want to miss lunch at their ramshackle hotel--the only one in town and which always served meals promptly. They came upon an old herder perched on a stool beside his camel.
    "Excuse me, sir," the man asked, "but could you tell me the time?"
    The old man glanced at them, spat in the dirt, then turned and reached under his camel....and hefted the animal`s testicles. After a moment, he released them.
    "It is 10 minutes before noon," he replied.
    The couple exchanged confused looks, thanked the man and hurried back to their hotel, arriving just in time for the meal. Later that day, the wandering couple found themselves again on the same street and spied the old herder perched beside his camel, apparently unmoved. Curious as to how he could tell time by fondling his animal`s balls they approached him and asked again, "Sir, can you tell us the time?"
    They watched closely as he again reached up and grabbed the camel`s jewels, seemingly judging their weight, then pronounced, "It is half-past four."
    The couple excitedly exchanged looks. The woman blurted, "Oh, sir! That`s an amazing ability you have! Could you show us how you do it?!?
    "Surely," the herder responded tiredly, and motioned them to squat beside him.
    "Now, grasp his jewels gently and lift them up to his belly."
    The woman did so while her companion watched.
    "What now?", she inquired.
    "Now," said the old man, "look over there--can you now see the clock in the far tower? When the big hand is on the......."
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    St. Peter agreed, and even came along with me to show me around. We went a ways, until we met President Clinton, tied to one of the most...
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