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    A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don`t know where I am."
    The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
    "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
    "I am," replied the man, "How did you know?"
    "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you`ve not been much help so far."
    The man below responded, "You must be a manager." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
    "Well," said the man on the ground, "you don`t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it`s my fault."
  • Parting!! A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.
  • Feel like home A busload of new recruits arrived at the reception center, and was greeted by an old drill sergeant. He began his speech: 'Welcome to Fort Dix, men. From now on, I want you to think of the Army as your family and as your home.'
  • Beware of Dogs! Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, 'Danger! Beware of Dog' posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
  • Politician! A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in thebackwoods for the Loksabha elections Outside a ramshacklehouse, he saw Banta milking a cow. He approached him,ready to make his pitch for a vote.
  • Santa on duty! The order was to account for the round consumed by a sentry on duty in a camp in the desert-by turning in the empty cases and showing what he had shot.
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