Size does matters!

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    Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
    Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that`s a good idea! What is it that you put over your cigarette?"
    The other old lady said, "It`s a condom.."
    "A condom? Where do you get those?"
    The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms.
    The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"
    The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel!"
  • Santa & Viagra! Santa comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, 'Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?'
  • Wrong Footed! A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop.
  • Hygienic! Two girls were walking down the sidewalk on a hot summer day. They come upon this old lady sitting on steps in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice that she wasn`t wearing any panties. So they ask her if its cooler without wearing any panties.
  • Swapping! Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband wasengrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.'Listen to this,' she said. 'There`s a classified ad where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.'
  • Jiffy Boobs! Owing to the advance in medical technology, surgicaltechnique and the fact that silicone breast implants havebeen determined to be perfectly safe, a California cosmeticsurgery practice is opening a new office where breastaugmentation surgery is done on an outpatient basis in about30 minutes.
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