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    One morning while making breakfast, Santa walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
    While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning Santa woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
    This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother.
  • Types of Bras! A man walked into the ladies department of Macy`s and shyly said to the woman at the counter, 'I`d like to buy a bra for my wife.'
    'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
  • Size does matters! Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
    Her friend saw this and said, 'Hey that`s a good idea! What is it that you put over your cigarette?'
  • Wetting fingers! Banta and his wife were lying in bed. Mrs Banta had curled up ready for sleep and Banta put his bed lamp on to read a book.
  • Santa & Viagra! Santa comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, 'Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?'
  • Wrong Footed! A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop.
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