•  

    Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
    Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
    Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
    Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
    The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
    Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
    Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
    Picasso erases Einstein`s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
    Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
    Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
    George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
    Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."
  • Majored in different fields... A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
  • Hearing aid... Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
  • The taxing stars... A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friendand was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue inthe Netherlands flag. 'Our flag symbolizes our taxes,' he said. 'We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.'
  • Jigsaw puzzle... John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. 'I`ve got a problem,' says Buffy.John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. 'I`ve got a problem,' says Buffy. 'What`s the matter?' asks John.'Well, I`ve bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it`s
  • Music of life! Little Noah came into the house with a new harmonica.'Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?'
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT