•  

    Santa and Banta were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stop light was red, but they just went on through.
    Banta in the passenger seat thought to himself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light".
    After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
    Banta was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that he was losing it.
    Banta was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection.
    At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, he turned to Santa and said, "Santa, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
    Santa turned to her and said, "Oh my, am I driving?"
  • The cure of Holy water! One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches.
  • Welcome Bush! Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, 'You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?'
  • Lie costs... A couple was going out for the evening. They`d gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don`t want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.
  • Majored in different fields... A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
  • Hearing aid... Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT