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    A guy phones a law office and says: "I want to speak to my lawyer."
    The receptionist replies, "I`m sorry but he died last week."
    The next day he phones again and asks the same question.
    The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."
    The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer.
    By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
    The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."
  • The Dog`s Duty A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
  • Plastic surgery is not that great! A 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above 'You will live to be 100.'
  • Grandmother`s gift When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.
  • The Meaning of Dreams! After she woke up, a woman told her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine s day. What do you think...
  • Valentine cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing 'Love' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
    He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them
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