All manner of excuses...

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    A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He looks in his rear view mirror and notices a police car with its red lights. He thinks, "I can outrun this guy", so he floors it.
    The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy realizes he can`t outrun the cop so he gives up and pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car.
    He leans down and says "Listen mister, I`ve had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I`ll let you go."
    The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"
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  • Sleep walking! I hope you didn`t take it personally, Reverend,' an embarrassed woman said after a church service, 'when my husband walked out during your sermon.'

    'I did find it rather...
  • Bolnde tailgating! One day a truck driver was driving down a highway when he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a blonde in a little blue car tailgating him. Well, this truck driver hated to be tailgated, so he stops his truck and walks over to the car, which had also...
  • Proposal! A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, 'Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.'
    'Then why are you so sad?' her mother asked.
    'Because he also told me he was...
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