•  

    Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached the gas pumps and one of them said to it " Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader".
    The gas pump of course did not respond. The alien repeated the greeting and there was still no response. Annoyed by what he perceived as the gas pump`s haughty attitude the alien drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling, we come in peace. How dare you ignore us this way? Take us to your leader or I will fire."

    The other alien shouted to his companion, "No, you must not anger him....", but before he could finish his warning the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert where they landed in a heap.
    When they finally regained consciousness the one who fired turned to the other one and said "What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us. How did you know it was so dangerous?"

    The other alien answered, "If there is one thing I have learned in my travel around the galaxy it`s if a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick in his own ear, you don`t screw around with him."
  • Black box! Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, 'Please prepare for a crash landing!'
    The first lady put on all her jewellery. Surprised by this the other ladies questioned her actions.
    The first lady said, 'Well when they come to rescue...
  • Sex change or... There`s a young couple in the cinema. The girl says, 'I must have a piss, can I squeeze past you?'
    'Why don`t you squat down on the floor and do it' says the boyfriend. 'You`ll have to disturb all these people, besides its dark, no one...
  • Asian boobs! A group of Asian women were visiting a village somewhere deep in Africa when they came across a trader selling human breasts.
    One of the Asian ladies asked the trader, 'Why are you selling women`s...
  • How many times? A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Australian on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
    'Last night I made love to my wife four times,' the Frenchman bragged, 'and this morning she made...
  • Pregnancy! The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
    The teacher then announced, 'Ladies, exercise is...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT