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    A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don`t try to fool me because I can tell the difference."
    The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch."
    The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces and says, "Bartender, I don`t want 8-year scotch like this filth. Give me 12-year scotch!"
    Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch, the man takes a sip and sighs, "Ah, now that`s the real thing."
    A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, "Hey, I think that`s really far out what you can do. Try this one."
    The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, "Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!"
    The drunk`s eyes light up and he says, "Yeah, now how old am I?"
  • Skydiving secrets! The story about the pilot ground school got me thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would take time to answer any of our stupid First Timer Questions.
    One guy asked: 'If our parachute doesn`t...
  • Real cool! Our Santa, a Japanese and a Britisher were lost in the desert.
    They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down. Because they had nothing else,they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
    The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher took...
  • The ghost? There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there was a down pour of thunder and rain, these two young guys ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed...
  • Anger and exasperation! A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, 'Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?'
    The father replied, 'It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.'
    With that the father...
  • Say the blessings! A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?'
    'I wouldn`t know what to...
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