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    Tim and Joe finished their weekly round of golf with Tim pulling out his typical victory, although not by the customary wide margin. Even though the match was unusually close, Joe seemed more upset than usual by the outcome.

    "Talk about the worst luck in the world," grumbled Joe as they headed into the locker room. "I just can`t seem to buy a darn break."
    "Why are you being so hard on yourself?" asked Tim. You played great all week. Heck, you almost actually won."
    "That`s what`s so aggravating," yelled Joe….I cheated like crazy and I still lost!"
  • Make-up! Jill calls her friend Linda, Linda picks up the phone.
    Jill : 'Do ya wanna go to the mall with me?'
    Linda : 'Why?'
    Jill : 'I need to study...
  • The waiting! The restaurant where I took my two kids for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television...
    A harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of...
  • The jury duty! A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called...
  • The comparison! Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter:
    First woman : My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for a paper boy to come around and then he takes a newspaper...
  • Exchanging notes! A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say hi to them, but he does not want to drag his beer mug with him.
    So he sets it on a table, along...
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