•  

    One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.
    "His friend said, " Don`t do that. There`s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00."

    Jeff figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
    The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow.Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.
    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
    He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter.To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
    He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
    The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
    Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren`t yours. Get a lawyer. And...if you don`t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
  • Satisfaction! A young Marine and his commanding officer board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
    After a while, it is obvious that the...
  • Height of sweetness? I was walking in the park one bright sunny Sunday afternoon, when I noticed a cute little girl out walking her dog. As she approached me on the path, she looked about 9 years old, all dressed up in her Sunday best, and her freshly scrubbed face, just gleaming...
  • Unveiling a secret! A man comes home after a heavy night`s drinking. His wife won`t open the door for him, so he starts hammering on it. She still won`t let him in, so he starts shouting. The neighbours are starting to notice, so in an attempt...
  • Petting and licking! Two gays are driving down the street when they see a dog on the side of the road licking his prick. 'I sure wish I could do that,' said the one...
  • Old age woes! A 75 year old woman went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told her she needed more activity and recommended sex three times a week. She said to the doctor: 'Please, tell my husband.'
    The doctor goes out in the waiting room and tells...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT