•  

    A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn`t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.
    Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach.
    He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn`t it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails.
    All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o`clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife`s dinner party!!!"
    He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails.
    There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he`s been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we`re almost there!!"
  • Room in Hell ! A self-centered, unbelieving man... ok a lawyer... died and was delivered into the devil`s hands. 'You will be spending eternity here, but I`ll let you pick your own room from three...
  • Valentines` Cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing 'Love' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over...
  • Two in one grave! A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl`s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked...
  • Lawyer in Heaven! A mechanical engineer died & went to heaven. Upon arrival Saint Peter checked 'THE BOOK' and didn`t find his name, so he informed the engineer that he must get on the elevator and go DOWNSTAIRS. Reluctantly the engineer boarded the elevator for the long trip DOWNSTAIRS and upon arrival in hell found that he was very...
  • Eternal marriage !! On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven`s gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT