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    One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm.
    His wife turned over and said, "I`m sorry honey, I`ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
    Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again.
    This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
  • Johnny in closet ! Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out oftown all week and said, 'Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady from next door. They undressed and got into bed and then
  • Another breathalyzer !! One day a police officer pulls over a car for speeding. The driver turns out to be a gorgeous blond woman. 'I`ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma`am.... Could I see your driver`s license and registration...
  • Don`t hit me !! A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says 'Hold on a second here - you can`t bring that animal in here, they aren`t allowed!' So the man says, 'But my gator here does a really cool trick.' The bartender says...
  • Stronger !! Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, 'Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn`t bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was...
  • Smart Monkey !! A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he`s drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and...
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