| Three prisoners, an Italian, an American and our Santa attempt an escape from Alcatraz, but are caught and must be punished. Prison Guard: "OK, the higher authorities has prescribed punishment of three lashes each, but you may have on your back the covering of your choice. So Alberto (Italian), you first. What do you want on your back ?" Alberto: "Oil." Guard: "OK, then. Slop it on. Good. Now... ONE!" Alberto: " Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh!" Guard: "TWO!" Alberto: "Oh God!!! Mercy! Mercy!" Guard: "THREE!" Alberto: "AAAARRRghhhhh (faints)" Guard: "Next, you Bill, what do you want on your back?" Bill: "Nothing." Guard: "Have it your way... ONE!" Bill: "Didn`t feel it." Guard: "TWO!" Bill: "Ha, ha, ha!" Guard: "THREE!" Bill: "No sweat." Guard: "Finally you, Santa. What you want on your back?" Santa: "I`ll have Bill." |