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    A young lady decided wanted to get rich quick, so she proceeded to find herself a rich 75-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.
    The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.
    When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a condom to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs.
    Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"
    The elderly groom replied, "There are two things I can`t stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber."
  • Broken fingers ! A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, everyone gets extremely drunk and the bride`s and groom`s families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the shit out of each other. The police get called in to break up the fight. The following week...
  • Newly Married ! A mother had three daughters and, on their wedding night, she tells each one to write back about their married life.To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to use newspaper advertisements as a `code` to let the mother know how their love...
  • Keep the motor running It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow.
    'This is amazing. How...
  • Breast Feeding ! A woman and a baby come into the doctor`s office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, 'Well, strip down to your waist...
  • Blue Balls !!! A man visits his doctor. 'I think I have a problem, doc,' said the patient. 'One of my balls has turned blue.'
    The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn`t have his testicle...
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