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    Santa and Banta had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
    Finally Santa invited Banta to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and two kids and I`d love to have you visit us."
    Banta, "Great. Where do you live?"
    Santa, "Here`s the address. And there`s plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I`ll let you in." "Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?", asks Banta.
    "Surely, you`re not coming empty-handed!"
  • Tampons A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles...the salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
    A few minutes later...
  • Quit drinking ! A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. 'What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?', asks the cop.
    'I`m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.'
    'Oh yeah?' says the doubtful cop. 'Lets...
  • Bitch !! Santa is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
    As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, 'PIG!!'
    Santa immediately leans out his window and replies...
  • Smart gal Mrs. Jones sent her daughter Silvia to buy some groceries at the market. On the way, she met some boys who asked her to climb up a tree and get them some fruit, which she did. She bought the groceries and...
  • Pregnant !!! An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous...
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