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    Sachin received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren`t expletives were, to say the least, rude.
    Sachin tried hard to change the bird`s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything that came to mind. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got madder and ruder.
    Finally, in a moment of desperation, Sachin put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet.
    Sachin was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
    The parrot calmly stepped out onto Sachin`s extended arm and said: "I`m sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness. I will try to check my behavior..."
    Sachin was astounded at the bird`s change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"
  • Mental institution Santa, Banta and one of their friends are patients in a mental institution and are preparing for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If they pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they...
  • Nymphomaniac ! The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. 'What seems to be the problem?' the doctor asked.
    'Well, I, uh,' she stammered. 'I think I, uh, might be...
  • No money ! One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw Santa and Banta eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
    'Why are you eating grass?' he asked Santa.
    'We don`t have any...
  • Milking ? Santa is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused.
    Banta comes in and asks Santa, 'Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?'
    Santa: Some things you just can`t explain.
    Banta: So what happened that is so horrible?
    Santa: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my...
  • Emotional needs ! A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.
    But then the wife suddenly stops and says 'I don`t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
    'WHAT!?' says her husband.
    The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as...
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