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    Santa goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, "Sir, I`m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish. The problem is, this is the last chicken in the house. I`m afraid I`ll have to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish for you!"
    Santa gets really upset and refuses to give up his food. The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer.
    A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man`s table and says, "Listen and listen good. That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I`ll warn you, whatever you do to that chicken I`ll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs, I`ll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings, I`ll break one of your arms!"
    Santa calmly looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird`s rectum, pulls it out and licks it. He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says, "Your turn!!"
  • Beautiful butts ! Banta keeps telling his wife, Preeto, 'Honey, you have such a beautiful butt'. Every person in the town agrees that she does have a very beautiful butt.
    Banta`s birthday is coming up so Preeto decides to take a trip to the tattoo parlor and get the words 'Beautiful butt' tattooed on her...
  • Latex ! A dentist was getting ready to clean an Jeeto`s teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...
    'Do you know how they make these rubber...
  • Patriotism A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital.
    'How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die,' the soldier said.
    The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier`s patriotism and said, 'I have a tattoo of the American flag on my...
  • Horse auction Santa and his son attended a horse auction with his father. Son is watching Santa as he moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses` legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, son asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?'
    'Because...
  • Innocence Banta was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.
    Banta man thought, 'Great..
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