•  

    Santa goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken.
    The cocky young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says: "OK, old fellow, time to retire."
    The old rooster says: "You can`t handle all these chickens, look what it did to me!"
    The young rooster replies: "Now don`t give me a hassle about this old man. It`s time for the old to step aside and the young take over, so take a hike!"
    The old rooster says: "Aw, c`mon, just let me have those two old hens over there in the corner. I won`t bother you."
    The young rooster snarls: "Scram! Beat it! You`re washed up! I`m taking over!"
    The old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster: "I`ll tell you what, young fellow, I`ll have a race around the farm house with you. Whoever wins the race gets full domain over the chicken coop."
    The young rooster smiles: "You know I`m going to beat you, old man. So just to be fair, I`m even going to give you a head start."
    The two roosters line up in back of the farm house; a hen clucks "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running. About 5 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
    Santa, sitting on the porch, hearing the commotion looks up and sees what`s going on. Quickly, he grabs his shotgun and BOOM! The young rooster is blown to smithereens!
    Santa sadly shakes his head in disgust: "Damn! That makes the third gay rooster I bought this week."
  • Evils of drugs Banta and one of his friends were picked up by the cops for using drugs and appeared in court before the judge.
    The judge said, “You seem like nice men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them...
  • Eraser ? A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight.
    “This is exciting,” thought the gentleman. “I’ve always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person.”
    Imagine his surprise when the Pope...
  • Hard One !! Three nuns who had recently died where on their way to heaven. At the pearly gates they were met by St. Peter. Around the gates there was a collection of lights and bells.
    St. Peter stopped them and told them that they would each have to answer a question before they could enter...
  • Lucky Santa ! Lucky Santa ! Santa goes into his son`s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - Santa wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that his Susie had died. Santa assures the son that Auntie is fine and sends him to bed.
    The next day, Auntie dies. One week later, Santa again...
  • Silicon implants In school one day the teacher decided in science class she would teach about materials.
    So she stood in the front of the class and said, 'Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?'
    Little Richie raised his hand and said 'I would want gold, because...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT