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Newly married Santa, was discussing his honeymoon.
He says to his buddy, Banta, at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o`clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until I couldn`t wait any longer. It was 4 o`clock when I gave her a little nudge. She opened her eyes and smiled sweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal."
"A rehearsal?" Banta asks, "Don`t you mean a performance?"
"No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes."
- Deserted Island Santa and his wife, Jeeto, had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. New guy and Jeeto are very attracted to each other right away, but realize certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, however, is very glad to see him there.
'Now we will be able to have three people doing... - Heartburn ! A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, 'Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.' The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.
'Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy', again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning... - Contagious A teacher is instructing her fourth grade class, and she`s telling them that the word of the day is `contagious.` She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several students raise their hands.
'Rohit,' she says.
Rohit says, 'My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps `cause they`re... - Tatoo !! Banta goes to the tatoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist Rs 10,000 to put a 500 rupee note on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this.
Banta replies, 'I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now.'
So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is... -
Multi purpose ! Three convicts, including Santa, were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.
On the bus, one turned to another and said, `So, what did you bring?`
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that...