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An Irishman, an Italian, and Banta are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there`s a better one. At MacDougal`s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a nice place.
Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that`s a nice bar, but where I come from, there`s a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there`s this place, Vinny`s. At Vinny`s, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then Banta guy says, "You think that`s great? Where I come from, there`s this place, Ludhiana. At Ludhiana, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" said the other two. "That`s fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," he replied, "but it happened to my wife!"
- You`re Warm Santa was talking to his fiancee, Jeeto, and he said, 'Be honest, how am I as a lover?'
To which Jeeto replied, 'Honey, I would definitely say that you`re warm.'
'Really?' Santa said excitedly.
'Yes, in fact... - Confession !! Tommy enters the confessional box and says, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I... - Killed the pig ! Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a...
- Punch me Santa and Banta are at work, digging a hole. Banta asks Santa other, 'Why is that guy up there sitting under the tree while we do all the work?'
Santa said that he doesn`t know, so he goes up and asks him why.
The guy under the tree says, 'Because I have... - Santa`s prescription Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant, Santa, and asks, 'What`s the matter with that guy? Wasn`t he...