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Santa was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said "Can you please help me. I don`t know what hole I`m on."
She told him "You are one hole behind me. I`m on 7; you`re on 6."
Santa thanked her and continued playing golf. On the back nine, he got lost again. He saw the same lady and went to her again, kind of embarrassed.
"I`m sorry to bother you again but I`m lost again. Can you please tell me what hole I`m on?"
She told him, "You are one hole behind me. I`m on 14; you are on 13."
Again Santa thanked her and continued playing golf. When he finished, he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted. As they were drinking and talking, he asked her what she did for a living.
"I`m in sales."
Santa replied, "No kidding? So am I. What do you sell?"
She said, "It`s too embarrassing to tell."
After Santa kept pleading to know what she sold she said she`d tell him if he promised not to laugh. Santa promised.
She said, "I sell tampons."
Santa immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
She said, "You promised you wouldn`t laugh."
Santa replied "I`m sorry, but I couldn`t help it. I sell toilet paper. I`m still one hole behind you."
- Unfaithful ? Banta and Preeto are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
Banta says to Preeto, 'I was wondering, have you ever cheated on me?'
Preeto replies, 'Oh dear, why would you ask such a question now?''I really want to know. Please...'
'Well, all right. Yes, 3 times...'
'Three ?... - Rehearsal !! Newly married Santa, was discussing his honeymoon.
He says to his buddy, Banta, at lunch, 'Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o`clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves... - Feels good Banta to his wife, Preeto, 'Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She`s got a red and white bra. You know, these are my favorite colors. Anyway, it`s not a big deal but it feels good.'
The next day when Banta come home Preeto asks... - Deserted Island Santa and his wife, Jeeto, had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. New guy and Jeeto are very attracted to each other right away, but realize certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, however, is very glad to see him there.
'Now we will be able to have three people doing... - Heartburn ! A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, 'Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.' The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.
'Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy', again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning...