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Santa is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie.
It says, “I will give you three wishes.”
Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says, “I want a beer that never is empty.”
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer.
Santa starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill.
The genie asks about his next two wishes.
Santa says, “I want two more of these.”
- Terrible news ! A man got a call from his doctor who said 'I have some bad news and some terrible news, which would you rather hear first?'
The man says 'The bad news.'
The doctor says 'The lab messed up your tests and when they re-did them, they found out you only have... - You`re Warm Santa was talking to his fiancee, Jeeto, and he said, 'Be honest, how am I as a lover?'
To which Jeeto replied, 'Honey, I would definitely say that you`re warm.'
'Really?' Santa said excitedly.
'Yes, in fact... - Confession !! Tommy enters the confessional box and says, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I... - Killed the pig ! Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a...
- Punch me Santa and Banta are at work, digging a hole. Banta asks Santa other, 'Why is that guy up there sitting under the tree while we do all the work?'
Santa said that he doesn`t know, so he goes up and asks him why.
The guy under the tree says, 'Because I have...