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An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard. So he picked out Santa to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting.
"Don`t ask me a lot of questions," he told Santa. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil.
"Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
- Great Bar ! An Irishman, an Italian, and Banta are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Irishman says, 'Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there`s a better one. At MacDougal`s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will... - Terrible news ! A man got a call from his doctor who said 'I have some bad news and some terrible news, which would you rather hear first?'
The man says 'The bad news.'
The doctor says 'The lab messed up your tests and when they re-did them, they found out you only have... - You`re Warm Santa was talking to his fiancee, Jeeto, and he said, 'Be honest, how am I as a lover?'
To which Jeeto replied, 'Honey, I would definitely say that you`re warm.'
'Really?' Santa said excitedly.
'Yes, in fact... - Confession !! Tommy enters the confessional box and says, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I... - Killed the pig ! Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a...