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A man returns from a foreign holiday and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
"This is your doctor. We`ve had the results back from your tests and we`ve found you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H. It`s a combination of Gonorrhea, AIDS, Syphilis, and Herpes!"
"Oh my gosh," cried the man, "What are you going to do, doctor?"
"Well we`re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread."
"Will that cure me???" asked the man.
The doctor replied, "Well no, but... it`s the only food we can get under the door."
- Get the bag Banta starts a new job, and the boss says, 'If you marry my daughter, I`ll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a million rupee annual salary.'
Banta says, 'What`s wrong with her?'
The boss shows him a picture, and she`s hideous. The boss says, 'It`s only fair to tell you, she`s not only... - Heaven or Hell? This woman dies and goes to heaven. While waiting in line, she hears this terrible screaming and moaning. This disturbs her somewhat, so she tracks down St. Peter to find out what is going on.
'Oh, that,' he says, 'that`s just the woman in front of you. They are drilling holes in her back to attach her wings.'
The woman is still a bit upset by this and is... - Blow job !! A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, 'You know that... - Gas Grill Banta and Preeto had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together.
As Preeto was bending over pulling weeds, Banta said, 'Hey honey, you`re getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it`s as big as the gas grill now.'
Banta, feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yard stick... - Confusion ! Banta walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on a shelf above the bartender and it said 'Win this...free beer for LIFE!'
Banta walked up to the bartender and asked 'How do I win this golden mug?'
The bartender replied, 'See that drunken man over there? Knock him out in one punch. See that lion? He has a toothache but...