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There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence. Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.
Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you."
He knew what it was. "Oh my!!" he shuddered, "It`s Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery!"
He cycled down the road and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come quick!" he said, "You won`t believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
The man said, "Shoo, you brat! Can`t you see I`m finding it hard to walk as it is!"
After several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery and heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one..."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you`ve been tellin` the truth! Let`s see if we can see the Devil himself."
Shivering with fear, they edged toward the fence, still unable to see anything, but they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me, and one last one for you. That`s all. Let`s go get those nuts by the fence, and we`ll be done."
They say the old guy made it to town 10 minutes before the boy!
- Banta in a theater Banta lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to Banta, 'Sorry, sir, but you`re only allowed one seat.'
Banta groaned but didn`t budge.
The usher became impatient. 'Sir,' the usher said, 'if you don`t get up from there... - For best results This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets... - Polish remover !! One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.
The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, 'How sure are you that she is gonna kill you? Did she threaten to kill you?'
'No,' replied the nervous immigrant.
'Did you hear her... -
The coolest one !! There were three friends Santa, Banta and Jugnu in Shimla. Once, while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their residences were. They could agree on everything but whose residence was the coldest, so they decided to determine who indeed had the coldest house.
They went to Jugnu`s residence, where... - 4-letter words !! Banta and Preeto got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Preeto immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, 'How was the honeymoon?'
'Oh, mama,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic...'
Suddenly she burst out crying. 'But, mama, as soon as we returned Banta started...