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    Banta, a traveling salesman, checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day`s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
    "I`m afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."
    Skeptical but intrigued, Banta located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty rupees, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later Banta pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
    Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures - Rs 25."
    "Why not?" thought Banta. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
    The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - cost Rs 50."
    Banta was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody around he put in fifty cents, then unzipped his pants and stuck his "thing" into the opening - with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for two weeks.
    When the machine started buzzing, Banta let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, Banta was able to withdraw his "thingy"...
    Which now had a button sewed on the tip.
  • Rectum Deodorant ! Santa walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to Santa that they don`t sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
    Unfazed, Santa assures the pharmacist that he has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like...
  • Scoreboard ? Scoreboard ? Banta and Mrs Banta`s friend Santa is visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling. Since Bantas` have no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning.
    'Nonsense,' says Banta`s wife, Preeto. 'Our bed is plenty big enough for...
  • The terminal diet A man returns from a foreign holiday and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
    'This is your doctor. We`ve had the results back from your tests and we`ve found that...
  • Breast feeding A young woman with a baby was shown into the examining room. Dr. Santa examined the baby and then asked the woman, 'Is he breast fed or bottle fed?'
    'Breast fed,' replied the woman.
    'Strip down to your waist,' Dr. Santa ordered.
    The woman did as she was told and Santa examined her...
  • Get the bag Banta starts a new job, and the boss says, 'If you marry my daughter, I`ll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a million rupee annual salary.'
    Banta says, 'What`s wrong with her?'
    The boss shows him a picture, and she`s hideous. The boss says, 'It`s only fair to tell you, she`s not only...
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