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It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let`s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up, "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.
"Now," said the teacher, "Who said `Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Toshiba, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper, "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.
At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba`s classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed, "I`m gonna throw up."
Teacher says "Who said that?"
Again, Toshiba raises his hand and says, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Well suck my ----!"
Once again, it`s Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."
- Men Need Most Banta, a traveling salesman, checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day`s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
'I`m afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him, 'but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, Banta located the appropriate machine, inserted... - Tried once Well-dressed Banta entered an upscale restaurant in the 17 sector, Chandigarh, and took a seat at the bar.
The bartender came over and asked 'What can I get you to drink, sir?'
Banta responded, 'Nothing, thank you. I tried alcohol once, didn`t like it, and never tried it again.'
The bartender was a bit perplexed, but... - Rectum Deodorant ! Santa walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to Santa that they don`t sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, Santa assures the pharmacist that he has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like... -
Scoreboard ? Banta and Mrs Banta`s friend Santa is visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling. Since Bantas` have no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning.
'Nonsense,' says Banta`s wife, Preeto. 'Our bed is plenty big enough for... - The terminal diet A man returns from a foreign holiday and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
'This is your doctor. We`ve had the results back from your tests and we`ve found that...