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There were three guys on a plane. The first guy just ate an apple and decided to throw it out of the plane. So he threw it out just before they landed. When they landed they saw a little girl crying. They asked her what was wrong. She said, "I was just sitting here playing when an apple fell out of the sky and hit me in the head."
They said, "That sucks"
Then they took off again and the second guy threw a orange out of the plane. When they landed there was a another little girl crying. They asked her what was wrong and she said the same thing as the other girl except that an orange hit her in the head.
So they took off again and just before they landed the third guy threw a bomb off of the plane. When they landed they saw Banta laughing.
So they asked Banta, "Why are you laughing, what`s so funny?"
Banta said, "I farted and my house blew up."
- Confession ? Tommy enters the confessional box and says. . .
'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I can`t be tellin` you, Father. I don`t want to... - Deer hunt ! Santa and Banta go for hunting. Santa has never gone hunting while Banta has huntedall his life. When they get to the woods, Banta tells Santa to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Banta checks out a deer stand.
After Banta gets about a quarter of a mile away, he hears a... - False alarms An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.
Suddenly... - Nut tree There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,' said one boy.
The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence. Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought... - Delayed Monsoon Santa is a store manager. One day he overheard a clerk saying to a customer, 'No, ma`am, we haven`t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn`t look as if we`ll be getting any soon.'
Alarmed by what was being said, Santa rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said...